Is He Marriage Material? Four Steps for Creating Your Custom Plan & Deciding If He's Worth Your Time

 It's important that you know yourself, your goals, your needs and wants really well before you can find a great relationship that could potentially lead to marriage.

And the best way to determine if your current or future boyfriend is marriage material is to know yourself, create a checklist of what's right for you, and then test him to see if he fits.

In this article, we'll break down what things you need to know about both yourself and him in order to even consider that next step!

Step One: Know There Is a "Mr. Perfect for You" and That You Can Design Him

Are you still waiting for HIM? You know who I mean:

"Mr. Right". The perfect man that will satisfy all your dreams and make your life worth living?

Yeah, that guy. Well, sorry to break it to you like this but...

Prince Charming, riding on a white stallion, lost his way because men hate asking for directions.

Or he found Princess Charming and got married to her on his way to your castle... or, you know, your apartment.

And by the way, even Prince Charming wasn't flawless. I'm pretty sure he left dirty dishes in the sink and never made up the bed.

Anyway, the point is that PERFECT isn't showing up anytime soon.

Truth is... nobody is perfect. No man and no woman. Perfection doesn't exist in people. But don't feel bad if you have been looking for the perfect man.

I did that for a long time, deathly afraid that if I didn't get him exactly right, I'd failed myself, my future kids, the planet, my Mama, and possibly God.

I was wrong. Don't even look for perfect, because the concept of "perfect for YOU" exists instead. You can plan the guy that may not perfect in the world, but is perfect for and fits YOU well.

The perfect-for-you man of your dreams is not hiding under your bed, though. That would be too easy. Can't have that.

Nope, you are going to have to actively design and then look for him. But don't worry, the search can be fun if you want it to be, and the hardest part is done. You now know you won't find perfect, so the pressure is off!

By the way, are you feeling the whole "not pretty enough" thing sometimes too? Wondering "why am I still single" even?

I did too. However, I learned that although I may not completely fit my society's "standard of beauty", I did meet quite a few men's individual standard of beauty... or was at least close enough!

And that's all you really need. So don't worry. "Mr. Close-Enough-To-Perfect-For-You" might be just around the corner... if you'll give him a chance!

You can plan him. Don't do this by default.

I've noticed that we sometimes find ourselves dating or even married by what I call "by default". That means we find a man, decide that he is the best we can do, and latch on without really analyzing him to determine if he's really right for us or our lives.

Don't fall victim to default. This isn't the time for "get in where you fit in". You CAN plan him. When you do your research and work your strategy, you won't have to put up with the losers!

You'll have a way to know whether he's marriage material... or not!

Now that you know that there is no "Mr. Right" or perfect man, the pressure is off, and you can now have fun looking for what I call your "ideal male". You're also aware that dating by default isn't the best way to avoid the pain of being with a dud. And you understand you can take the bull by the horns and decide what you want your ideal guy to look like.

Now it's time to dive into YOU, determine your dating deal breakers, and decide what kind of guy fits you best.

Step Two: Get to Know YOU: Your Goals and Dreams, Needs and Wants, and Deal Breakers

Did you see the first The Matrix (tm) movie? Remember that scene where Neo goes to see the Oracle?

He is trying to figure out if he's "the one" -- a Messiah of sorts and the man Morpheus is searching for-- and thinks the Oracle can help him decide what to do.

Typical of a good mentor, the Oracle makes Neo find his own way. Before putting him out to find his own answers, she points out the plaque above her door that reads nosce te ipsum.

Know thyself.

You should know yourself really well before committing to someone else.

Have you ever taken time to really think spiritual awakening movies  what YOU want for your life? I don't mean what you THINK you want -- which is usually what others want for you -- or what society wants for you -- don't get me started on that, but what YOU really, truly, want for yourself?

Why? Well, understanding yourself is the most important thing you can do before getting deeply involved with another person.

I'm not saying you'll do everything perfectly even if you see yourself clearly. Problems can still happen, and you will make mistakes.

But if you pick a mate based on what you learn about yourself, you will have a much better shot at finding compatibility than if you have no idea who you are and just go into this blindly, hoping it will turn out okay.

If you don't know yourself or your needs well, and hook up with someone before finding YOU first, you may end up realizing that the person you are with does not fit you or your life at all, or at least not enough for things to last very long. Relationship compatibility is CRUCIAL.

Being badly matched could be disastrous, especially if you cement yourself to him by having a child or getting married.

Know Your Goals and Dreams... and Stick With Them

When I think about it, I'm so glad to have been born when I was. We've got so many options now that women in my mother's age range and older just didn't have. We now have the tools and the right to decide what we want in terms of a career, marriage, and family just as much as men do.

However, despite having goals and dreams, we sometimes get so caught up in a relationship that our own lives take a backseat. We end up giving up our dreams for relationships and marriage, children and family.

Now, if you have a family with a man that's right for you then maybe these sacrifices are worth it